Diagnose

I had an appointment booked with a lung specialist 2 days after arriving back from Switzerland, and that certainly wasn’t my idea, but someone at home was tired of my bullshit and through being patient. Commonsense prevailed.

 

The day of the appointment arrived, where the doctor proceeded to run me through different tests to see if the culprit could be, as I was kind of dreading, Asthma. The results quickly ruled this out.

 

The x-ray scan, which the lung specialist had done almost as an afterthought, would finally shine the light on the problem, and reveal a glimpse of what was going on. The reasons for my cough and low retention times were now on view to see on the resulting x-ray scan. The way the doctor looked shocked at the x-ray and said ‘I’m sorry. But it looks like a Lymphoma’. 'Wassatshit' was my first thought. It didn't sound good. As he left the room to seek advice from a colleague regarding the scans, I quickly googled ‘Lymphoma.’ Once again. Fuck googling the internet. Words such as ‘tumour’ and ‘malign’ were being tossed around like shit confetti. I was stunned. And panicky. The doctors arrived to confer once again on what they were seeing and their suspicions that we were dealing with a very probable Lymphoma diagnosis.

 

I already knew that the lymphs in my neck area were a problem. I never thought on what it could look like below this area. A herd of swollen lymphs had concentrated not just around the neck area but around the lungs. 

 

I was quickly booked in for a CAT-Scan to show a fuller extent of what was happening. The resulting scan revealed the enlarged buggers not only in the neck and chest area, the chest in of itself making up a 12 x 10 cm dense gang of them, filled up with mutant white blood cells not doing their intended job, and having a good old prolonged longer than normal time, but also the spleen was double its normal size and a lymph seemed to possibly be attached to it. Probably explains why I had to pee 3 times a night. And I thought I was just getting old and it was one of those things.

Within 2 short weeks, I would have a full diagnosis. I had a biopsy done on one of the lymphs, and a bone marrow extraction to see if my bones where also being affected. The biopsy wasn't that bad. You get knocked out and wake up with a new little scar. Why had I been so nervous about getting that done? The bone marrow extraction on the other hand felt as if someone had booted me up the arse. With workman boots. 

 

Anyway. Hodgkin Lymphoma Stage IIIB. The III designating that I was on Stage 3 of the 4 available stages, and the b designating that I was having symptoms. Hodgkins Lymphoma is a cancer affecting the lymphatic system, which is part of our immune system. The very thing I had trained to improve in myself and others. I'm sure there is something that can be done with that in a marketing sense. Umm. Maybe not. Just the universe letting the little man know whats up, and that this isn't constant.

A day after the diagnosis, I then received an email notification to notify me that I had been upgraded to a WHM Level 3 instructor. Wow, was I proud. And crestfallen. And confused. It was a weird moment with conflicting feelings and doubt. The universe had thrown me a riddle. Which rabbit holes was I going to go down? Apart from amazing support at home, I reached out to a few people that I knew I could trust without going crazy on guaranteed successful diets or therapies, and from this, just chose my path. My path... at the end of the day, if this thing doesn‘t work out, I want to be able to say I signed off on the direction that I felt best with. As I had lost so much weight (10-15 kg), I wasn‘t really going to try a new diet. The memo was to put weight back on.

Luckily, I was to be involved in a trial for a new first stage treatment for mid-advanced stage Hodgkin. The protocol I received seems very promising in being effective with a reduction of the long-term symptoms and negatives that can crop up.
My fours cycles of chemotherapy treatment was to involve:

• 5 days of treatment in the hospital

• 16 days at home recuperating

What did I add to my regime? I had WHM, Buteyko, Dr. Joe Dispensa amongst other things that I could fall back on. As I mentioned, I chose the path that best suited my situation and don‘t want to preach in a certain direction.
 

As far as WHM goes... the mindset I had trained using the WHM protocols were the foundation. A big hurdle is accepting that you will be blasted by aggressive chemicals over a sustained period of time. If that is to be the case... befriend it! Not being hermetic per se (of growing stronger through a little poison), I asked of it to help cure me without damaging me too much. You know you are going to go through something very hard. Well, ice baths aren‘t exactly easy peasy. Hiking up freezing cold mountains... ditto! That mindset took the fear of the bags of chemicals being infused. Its here to help me. Let it. No time for moaning really. Get on with it.
A big statement on worry: Tom Hanks stars in Bridge of Spies as a lawyer who is tasked with helping a Soviet spy not get banged up. The spy is of a rather laidback demeanour during the court procedings. Tom Hanks character asks him if he is not worried. The spy‘s answer? „Would it help?“ Easy answer really. Worry is a further burden, filling me with stress-hormones that I had to keep in check. (next - 'Therapy - Round 1')